Marriage Mentoring

Mentoring is someone with more experience helping someone with less experience learn how to do their job well. We often see this in the workplace, but wouldn’t it be great to have mentoring in your marriage?

Whether you’re a married couple wanting to communicate better, empty-nesters wondering how to reconnect once the kids are gone, or just wanting to find a way forward together, mentoring can be a great option for you!

Mentoring is not intervention or counseling. It’s just sitting down with a more seasoned couple to share your story and learn from their successes, their failures, and how their life with Jesus changes their life together.

The mentoring relationship typically lasts 3-4 months in length and is scheduled according to each mentee couple’s needs.

Frequently Asked Questions

WHAT HAPPENS IN MARRIAGE MENTORING?

Typically, you will have a “get to know you” meeting at first to make sure there is a “connection” between you and your mentor couple.  At the second meeting the 4 of you will determine what your top 3 goals are for the mentoring process.  For example, common goals might include better communication, conflict resolution, and getting on the same page with parenting decisions.  It all depends on what season of life you are in.  The mentoring process is customized to meet your needs.  Your remaining 6 sessions will all center around those 3 goals, and anything else that comes up in the meantime.  Rest assured YOU are determining the goals of your sessions together.

DO WE HAVE ANY SAY IN WHO OUR MENTOR COUPLE IS?

The Ministry Leadership Team will make a match based on your answers in your “mentor request form” and also based on what couples we have available.  We will always contact you BEFORE an introduction is made to go over our recommendation and to get your go-ahead.  Our desire is that you are matched with a couple that you will be comfortable with!

MY SPOUSE IS NOT A BELIEVER. CAN WE STILL REQUEST MARRIAGE MENTORING THROUGH ALPINE CHAPEL?

Absolutely.  Please know that our mentoring program is biblically-based.  But we are happy to match you with a mentor couple regardless. Our goal is to help you thrive in your marriage!

IS MARRIAGE MENTORING ONLY FOR COUPLES WHO ARE HAVING PROBLEMS?

Absolutely not.  We welcome couples who are interested in growing their marriage from “good to great”! Whether you are newly married and just want a solid foundation, a couple going into empty nest-hood and just want another couple to walk alongside you, or anything in between – we want to help your marriage thrive.  As one of our “graduated” mentee couples have stated, “every couple should go through mentoring”!  It is biblical, and it is meaningful!  And in a world where things can sometimes get out of control, it is wonderful to have that connection with a couple who has “been there, done that”!

CAN MENTORING TAKE THE PLACE OF MARRIAGE COUNSELING?

That all depends.  It is critical that you realize that mentor couples are NOT licensed counselors.  Our couples have received minimal training in mentoring, not counseling. And they are married couples, just like you, who have a passion to see marriages thrive! Based on the severity of your marital issues, marriage counseling may be the best option for you.  However, oftentimes, with more minor issues like communication styles and basic conflict resolution, mentoring may be what can help you get on the right track.  If you have specific questions about this please contact a member of the leadership team at marriage@alpinechapel.org  Also, once you are matched up with a mentor couple they can help you determine if professional counseling may be the best option for you.

BOTH, OR ONE OF US, IS A LITTLE NERVOUS ABOUT THE WHOLE MENTORING PROCESS. WILL THIS WORK FOR US?

Marriage mentoring can and will be successful for the couple who is willing to look honestly at how they contribute to issues in their marriage and are open to changing. Mentoring not about who is right or wrong.  As mentors we are on the “side” of the marriage and the assumption is neither spouse is right or wrong, just different.  It is our goal to help you see God’s way is the best way to have a loving and lasting relationship, and we seek to help you find tools to improve the quality of your marriage.

WHAT IF I WANT MARRIAGE MENTORING BUT MY SPOUSE DOESN’T?

Marriage mentoring is designed for couples, not individuals.  Perhaps your spouse would be more willing to consider a marriage-focused small group, which is offered 2-3 times a year, or one of our ToolKit Workshops.   We are also willing to sit down with you both and discuss the mentoring process to help your spouse feel more comfortable. Contact us at marriage@alpinechapel.org if you’d like to discuss this further.

IS THERE A COST FOR MARRIAGE MENTORING?

No.  It is a free gift!

WHAT ABOUT CONFIDENTIALITY?

All communication between mentors and mentees is considered confidential, except as required by law (i.e., child abuse, where there is a threat of serious harm to self or others, subpoena or court order). The mentor couple may stop meetings and refer mentees to professional marriage counseling if the mentor couple deems it appropriate. The mentor couple may also receive guidance from members of the Alpine Marriage Ministry Oversight Team.  In these cases, specific names will not be used.

WHAT IF WE ARE NOT HAPPY WITH HOW MENTORING IS GOING?

The Mentor/Mentee relationship is primarily for the benefit of the mentee couple.  Therefore, the mentee couple can stop the meetings at any time, or request to be matched to a different mentor couple.  If you are not feeling the mentoring relationship is working for you, please contact us at marriage@alpinechapel.org so together we can find a solution.

To get in contact with a Marriage Mentoring Couple, complete the form below and we’ll get back to you soon to discuss next steps.

REGISTER

Interested in becoming a Marriage Mentor couple? Mentor couples must be Alpine members and be married for approximately 15 years.

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