Resting in Jesus • Alpine Chapel

For many years, God had been putting on my heart the need to be baptized. When I found out Alpine was going to be having Easter baptisms I thought that would be the perfect time. Some medical issues came up and I told a friend I was going to hold off on being baptized. A few days later, my friend told me that God revealed to her it was a bad idea for me to put off the baptism and she was to be adamant about her feelings. So, she was. Neither of us understood why it was such a big deal to postpone it, but we both agreed I should listen to God.

Three weeks later, I was diagnosed with breast cancer.

I never had any serious health conditions before or any surgeries. I was full of many emotions but mostly anger and fear. I didn’t know how I was going to get through this. Friends were telling me which verses to read. Those same verses would pop up on my phone from my bible app usually within a day or two. After many times of this happening I started to realize that God was reconfirming what others were telling me. I was also told to rest in Jesus. I had no idea what that meant.  After being told this numerous times, because of course I wasn’t doing it, and the confirmations from my bible app, I chose to start listening to God and start resting in Him.

I spent my time in-between doctors appointments reading the bible, listening to worship music, praying, and literally being still. I quieted my mind so I could hear His voice. I finally heard Him tell me not to fear and He was with me and that I would be stronger when this was done. I chose to trust and have faith in Him and I finally understood what resting in Jesus meant.

My family and friends noticed a change in me, specifically how peaceful and calm I was. They asked how could I be so calm about everything?  The old me would have been crying and freaking out. I told them I had found peace and joy through Jesus.

By the time I had my third surgery, which was a bi-lateral mastectomy, the peace I felt was so strong that if I didn’t make it out of surgery for some reason, I was okay with dying. I knew I was going to heaven, but I always felt God had a much bigger plan for me when this trial passed.

I chose alternative methods for my healing after surgery, and when I look back, God had been placing certain people and information in my life to help me with my healing. All the doctors and support groups I was lead to were Christian. One of the verses that came up constantly on my bible app was Romans 8:28.  I didn’t know how that verse pertained to a cancer diagnosis. What good would come out of it? But when I started to find peace and joy I started to understand the “good”.  I never thought having cancer would bring me closer to God but it did. I fell in love with Jesus. I would never go back to my life before cancer.  I have a peace and joy that I have never experienced in my life. No material thing has ever brought me that feeling. God healed me and He changed me inside and outside.  I am truly blessed and thankful for all the people God put in my life throughout this journey and I will never let anyone or anything come between me and Jesus again.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Romans 8:28